Navigating the world of dating can be a bit daunting, especially when it comes to that all-important first date. You want to make a good impression while staying true to yourself. Whether you’re meeting someone from an app or someone you met in real life, here are five tips to help you stand out from other men:
1) Always Be Closing
Be prepared! For online dates that start with a (cold) call: use this time to establish a connection and, importantly, have three date ideas ready to go. If you’re thinking dinner, pick a date and a restaurant, and make a reservation before you get on the phone (you can always cancel later). Want to grab some coffee? Suggest a specific place and time, preferably one that’s convenient for her. Planning on drinks? Make sure she enjoys a cocktail or two, and have a bar in mind, complete with a time—just get there early to snag a good seat so that she won’t be stuck standing there awkwardly and uncomfortably. I’d say think of a bar that tends to have bar stools open (vs. a slammed bar, where this is iffy). For a woman you met in real life, call to ask her out – actual phone calls are sexy because they show confidence (and you taking a risk of being rejected by her not taking the call) and they create genuine connection. Feel free to “make an appointment” and ask if she’s available at X time for a quick call to set up the date. If she doesn’t like calls, and she happened to mention that to you when you met, second best is texting. Either way, have a few direct ideas ready, as stated above for the man doing a cold call with an online date lead.
2) Offer to Pick Her Up
Don’t make her fend for herself. Show her that with you, chivalry is not dead. Extend an offer to pick her up or send an Uber. If she’s not comfortable sharing her address, that’s perfectly fine—she can decline. But the gesture speaks volumes about your thoughtfulness and sets a positive tone for the evening. After all, think of the time she spends grooming and planning her outfit, getting nails done, what have you, for the date. It’s the least you can do to fund an uber or go out of your way to get her.
3) Cover the Bill
When it comes to the check, stand firm: if you invited her out, it’s on you. If she offers to split it, just politely insist that it’s your treat. A smooth way to handle this is to give the waiter your card just before you head to the restroom, or to set up a tab ahead of time at the bar. This way, the debate about who pays won’t happen. Plus, it adds a dash of charm to the evening.
4) Get Dressed Up
Make an effort to look your best. Take a nice shower, dress up, and add just a hint of cologne. Showing that you put time into preparing for your date reflects your interest in her. When you feel good about your appearance, it naturally boosts your confidence and makes the date more enjoyable for both of you. Romance is supposed to be out of the ordinary. So have the confidence to show you care. It’s cool to care.
5) Arrive Early
Aim to show up about 15 minutes ahead of schedule. No woman likes to be kept waiting. Show her some respect and interest in romance and traditional roles with dating. Leaving her waiting out in the cold is rude, not cool! Plus, arriving early gives you a chance to get situated and to ensure a tab is set up (if you’re at the bar) and/or a chance to give the waiter your card ahead of time (if you’re meeting for a meal). For coffee dates, it gives you a chance to find seating. You can absolutely text her to see what she wants to drink if you’re waiting in line for coffee or if you’re sitting at the bar. It shows you want her to be comfortable and that you’re there waiting for her. It’s cool, not eager. You want to do everything in your power to make her feel at ease.