- Acknowledge what you did wrong and take accountability for it; validate and acknowledge her feelings and reassure her that you will not do it again (or state whatever commitment you can keep/state the lesson you learned from your misbehavior); ask her what you can do to make her feel better. Pretending nothing happened is the absolute worst thing you can do! That’s invalidating and makes her angrier and only escalates the situation. This is the most important thing. Stating what you did wrong, acknowledging the pain you caused her, and then committing to a promise you can keep. And letting her know how valuable she is to you and why, and that you don’t want to lose her.
- Send an expensive bouquet of flowers immediately. While I am a much bigger fan of flowers when things are going well (nothing is worse than the man that only sends I’m sorry flowers and is never thoughtful enough to send birthday/Valentine’s/just because flowers, because it signifies selfishness). If she works from home or if it’s the weekend, send them to her house; if it’s the weekday and she works at an office – send them to her office. It always makes a woman feel special to receive flowers in front of others. Make sure you send her favorite flowers; if you don’t know what her favorite flowers are, send at least one dozen roses in her favorite color. From a nice florist, not 1-800-flowers. If you cannot afford that, go to Safeway, get some flowers, purchase a nice vase, and drop them on her doorstep. Make sure to include a card, whether you’re dropping them off directly, or you’re having them delivered. The card can say something to the effect of, “I cannot imagine life without you, and I am beyond sorry; I scheduled you a massage at 6pm at X place this evening (if you can afford that). I hope you enjoy and relax. I’d love it if you let me take you for some dinner afterwards. I’ll text you at 7:30p to see if you’re up to it (if that’s when the service would end). (Obviously prepay the massage and be sure the place is high end/even better if you know where she goes and who she sees). Lay it on thick, don’t be scared. Women like grand gestures and when groveling should be done, grovel. You caused the problem, not her! Navigating the message you send depends on your exact relationship. If you want help with this, a discovery call would be a good idea, so I can help you with the messaging.
- Don’t give up or reveal your frustrations when she doesn’t immediately forgive you or become pleasant. After all, you made the mistake. Don’t stalk her but don’t give up too easily. Continue with daily efforts that show you’re making it up to her and don’t want to lose her. Even if she says we’re done, I’d say it’s worth a few more attempts that week to make her feel too special to lose. At the end of the day, it’s good karma to send gifts and pampering to a woman you’ve hurt, even if you don’t get your way in the end. This is where I’d come in and help you translate her of what’s too much and what’s not enough – feel free to schedule a complimentary discovery call.
- Send her Apple Cash with a caption that reads, “go treat yourself to an evening at the nail salon (or whatever she likes, if nails aren’t her thing).” For this, $200 is safe. You want her to be able to get whatever she wants done, plus tip. You could do $150 but the last thing you need is her getting resentful that you didn’t even cover the full bill. This one is straightforward and just a romantic thing to do.
- If you know she’s out with her friends that night, call the restaurant and cover the bill. If she’s (presumably) home, send her favorite Doordash meal to her home. She can always eat it tomorrow if she’s not home when it arrives/has already had dinner. It’s about the gestures of thoughtfulness and fighting for her that will make her feel cherished, recognized, and special.
