- Don’t tell her the plans you have at the last minute. Let’s say you message her on Saturday, asking her when she’s free to go out next weekend. She says Monday after 5PM or Friday after 1PM, and you opt for the Friday afternoon slot. It is your job, in that moment, to say, “I was thinking we could go for lunch at Little Original Joes at 1:30PM. How does that sound?” If you just opt for Friday afternoon and figure you’ll let her know Thursday night or Friday morning what the plan is, don’t expect her to still be available. You need to lock in a set date, time, and activity for it to be a confirmed date. This seems obvious but is such a common mistake that can be easily fixed with a little bit of effort and discipline.
- It’s not cool to let her know details at the last minute. Plenty of guys think that it’s cool to “figure it out” the day of, because for them, that feels laid back and easy (or “cool”). Which is fine and dandy if you’re looking to lose the lead or just show her your lack of game. Even if she is still available when you text her Thursday evening, for a Friday plan, it’s inconsiderate to leave her hanging like that. She has a life to plan and, she wants to know what you guys are doing so that she can properly prepare her outfit and have a set DATE (which is a set place, time, and activity) to look forward to during the week. She will feel resentment even if she goes along with your lack of planning. Your last-minute follow-up conveys selfishness, lack of consideration, and bad manners. Remember, your goal is to make her feel at ease around you, not on edge and resentful. This is an easy behavior to fix and doing so makes a drastic difference. Remember, romance is out of the ordinary – different than everyday life. You’re acting like you’re married and it’s everyday life, deciding the day of, or the night before. You’re trying to woo her and make it spicy; not to leave her hanging and make it bland.
- Offer to pick her up. If the date is confirmed, you then ask if she would like you to pick her up or send an Uber. If she opts for the Uber, just tell her to text you when she’s ready for you to call it, and if she opts for you to pick her up, let her know (right then and there) what time you will pick her up. Trust me, it does not come off as creepy to offer to transport her to the date – it’s your job as the man! It comes across as a breath of fresh air in a society that’s become a total shit show with gender roles in dating. She can always say she will get herself there. If she does, you still earn brownie points for showing you have actual manners.
- Reserving a day and time still isn’t a date. Remember, you need to reserve a set date, time, and activity for it to be a confirmed date. You don’t just get to say let’s go out for a drink next Thursday at 5:30PM and think that’s a date. You didn’t tell her where you’re going and if you’re picking her up. Following up with details the night before is rude and at best, she’ll still be available; but you’re already starting off on the wrong foot because she’s been annoyed all week that you haven’t clarified the plan. It should be something set for her to look forward to, rather than something nonexistent that makes her either opt for other plans or just bitter towards you. Don’t be a douche. Lock it in. It’s sexy, not eager.
- Don’t invite her over for pizza. The sperm moves, the egg sits. Men are wired to hunt. So, it’s your job to chase her. You text first. You call first. You ask her out. She responds. That’s not eager. That’s sexy. This is how it goes during the courtship phase, according to my program (not our society’s shit show of dating and lack of gender roles). Inviting her over for pizza before she’s your committed girlfriend is too ordinary. Instead, take her out for a picnic, if your budget is tight. Go for a hike and grab lunch afterwards. Go for a fancy dinner. Go to a museum and grab dinner. Do whatever it takes to make it different than everyday life. It’ll be an enjoyable reprieve from the ordinary for you as well. It’s healthy! Once you’re in a committed relationship, she will participate more. But right now, you’re trying to get her; she’s trying to decide if you’re the best man available to her. You’re not in the phase of just chillin’ at home yet.
