- Give her a break. She’s on some dysphoric AF drugs (hormones), so take her overreactions or emotional outbursts that may come up that week with a grain of salt. Be patient and validating and just know she’s not dealing with a full deck. If you men only knew what it was like to ride the dragon, you’d double down on the grace. So just use your outlets, such as workouts, journaling, processing with me (if we are working together), a therapist, a friend – whatever you need to do to cope healthfully – and remember that this too shall pass, and she’ll be back to herself soon.
- Get all her favorite snacks. Bring chocolate or whatever foods she tends to crave during PMS, even if she doesn’t eat them. If she will be direct and tell you what she wants for dinner to hit a craving, even better. Get it for her. Your life will be better for it and she will feel loved.
- Don’t touch her without permission. Truly, physical touch can make a woman want to backhand you, during that time of the month. Ask for consent before you touch her. If you are touching her, I’d recommend asking her if she wants her feet rubbed, a back rub, head massage, or something like that. And don’t be a horndog and try to make that lead to sex. Even if you do get aroused, control yourself. If she mentions she wants it, that’s another story – go for it. But don’t make sexual moves on her. Let her rest and be cozy in her ugly pajamas if that’s what feels right to her.
- Take note of her period the first time she tells you about it. Put the date in your notes on your phone. That way, if she starts acting “crazy,” you can refer back and see if it would make sense that she’s PMS’ing. There’s nothing more annoying than someone asking if you’re on your period when you’re upset about something, because it feels invalidating. All emotions are heightened, so I would just let her tell you, and use your notes to play Nancy Drew.
- Still keep some sort of standards for yourself though. I am not saying she has permission to be abusive and a complete psychopath every time she has her period, and that you should walk around on egg shells and take it, when she’s going completely nuts on you once a month. I’m just conveying that it’s important to be gentle with her and to give her grace, and make the home a nice, comforting place to be, as opposed to trying to argue logic against her irrational emotions. That just makes for unnecessary fights.